Episode 5Edit

The SetupEdit

Sly Cooper (narrating): We got the message late one Saturday night. Dimitri was calling in the favor I'd promised him back in Holland. He'd gone ahead and booked the whole team passage under assumed identities to none other than Blood Bath Bay. Easily the most lawless town on Earth, it's home to a group of cultural hermits who doggedly maintain the ways of their pirate forefathers.

Sly (narrating): The cruise over gave us some time to get the rundown from Dimitri. I guess his grandfather, Reme Lousteau, was a pioneer in deep sea diving. He'd made a fortune looting undersea wrecks. Although, his luck ran short when a young cutthroat by the name of Black Spot Pete stole not only his loot but his precious diving gear as well. A broken man, Reme retired from treasure hunting and eventually started a family. Dimitri, growing up on his grandfather's stories, dreamed of one day recovering the gear. So that was our task. We'd been called in to get our hands on this miraculous diving equipment. Not all bad, really. If things go our way the team might get a frogman out of the deal, which Bentley figures will be a big help cracking the Cooper Vault. That Bentley, always thinking.

The Talk of PiratesEdit

Bentley (binocucom): Black Spot Pete has retired and is living here in town. I'll mark his place with a waypoint.

[Sly reaches Pete's location.]

Bentley: There he is. Black Spot Pete.

Sly Cooper: I didn't think pirates could get that old. Thought scurvy would get them or something.

Bentley: Don't lower your guard for an instant. All pirates are killers, plain as that, and they don't trust outsiders at all. How's your pirate accent?

Sly Cooper: (pirate accent) Arggh, I forgot me number 2 pencil for the scantron test.

Bentley: Joke all you want, but that guy won't help us out until you earned his trust.

[Sly approaches Black Spot Pete.]

Sly Cooper: Black Spot Pete, I've come to talk of treasure, a subject I hear you're familiar with.

Black Spot Pete: Treasure! Aye, but I won't chatter with the likes of you on so blessed a subject. Get out of m'sight, landlubber! All my years, I only spoke of the golden kindness with m'partner, Cantankerous Tim.

Sly Cooper: Maybe we can work out a bargain.

Black Spot Pete: Shut your mouth hole, lubber, or I'll cork it with my cutlass! Hard on the tonsils, I assure ye!

[Sly leaves and hops onto a rooftop.]

Sly Cooper: Salt of the Earth that Black Spot Pete.

Bentley: It's clear to get anywhere with the old coot, we'll need to fool him into thinking that you're Cantankerous Tim.

Sly Cooper: What happened to Tim anyway?

Bentley: His lieutenants mutinied on the old guy and divided the plunder... including his captain outfit.

Sly Cooper: This is the only real pirate town left. They got to be around here somewhere.

Bentley: You're right... That's Stone Jake, toughest guy you'll ever meet. He took the eye patch.

Sly Cooper: Hmm, tough enough to take an anchor dropped on his head?

Bentley: Good plan. That'll do the job... matey.

Bentley (binocucom): Stone Jake has a thing about monkeys. If you whack the palm trees, he's sure to come running. Perfect for luring him under the anchor.

[When hitting the palm trees]

Stone Jake
  • Accursed dirty primates!
  • Briny dogs!
  • Filthy banana eaters!
  • Haha! I've got ya now!
  • Huh?
  • I'll find ya!
  • Monkeys!
  • Run with your opposable thumbs!
  • Simian demons!
  • Tree devils!
  • Wha?
  • What? Be that monkeys?
  • Where are ya?

[Once Stone Jake is underneath the anchor]
Bentley (binocucom): Stone Jake's in position! Drop anchor!

[Sly drops the anchor.]

Stone Jake: Tricky monkeys!

Bentley (binocucom): Nice work. I've already got a bead on the second lieutenant. He's in motion near the overturned boat.

Bentley (binocucom): There's the second lieutenant. You need to steal his peg leg.

Sly (binocucom): Peg leg? Seriously? Isn't that kind of... harsh?

Bentley (binocucom): You'll need it for the costume, it's very unique. Look, what you need to worry about is getting past his bodyguards.

Sly (binocucom): I'll have to pick 'em off one by one... shouldn't be a problem.

[Sly defeats the bodyguards.]
Bentley (binocucom): OK, sneak up behind him and pickpocket the screws from his peg leg.

[Sly steals the peg leg.]
Bentley (binocucom): Excellent work. You've just got one lieutenant left: Twitchy Ned. I'm afraid word's gotten out that someone is taking down lieutenants, and he's hiding out up in a crow's nest.

[Sly approaches Ned's hiding spot.]

Twitchy Ned: They're everywhere. The bobs are closin' in. Stay awake. Keep your wits about ye, Ned. Stay sharp. Yes, sharp as an ax, sharp as a pin, sharp as a tack, sharp as a... uh, I don't know. Gotta keep alert... alert!

Twitchy Ned: A-ha! I knew it... 'tis true! An agent of Tim's come for revenge.

Bentley (binocucom): Chase him down. He's got Tim's hat!

[While chasing Twitchy Ned, every time he activates a trap]

Twitchy Ned
  • Fight that, scallywag!
  • Avast!
  • You won't take me!

[Sly corners Ned.]

Twitchy Ned: Avast there! Ye've got me with me back to the sea... I yield!

Sly: I just wanted your hat.

Twitchy Ned: Me hat!? That's what this be about!? Take the moldy cut o'cloth and away with ya!

Bentley (binocucom): Excellent. You've got the full Cantankerous Tim disguise! Head on back to Black Spot Pete, and pretend to be his partner. And remember your pirate accent this time!

[If Sly confronts Black Spot Pete without his disguise equipped.]

Black Spot Pete: Shove off, landlubber!

[Sly confronts Black Spot Pete while in disguise.]

Black Spot Pete: Whuh?... Cantankerous Tim! Yer back, you two-faced scallywag!

Sly: Aye, matey... and, not to be rude, but let's talk treasure... argh.

Black Spot Pete: How about a round of vinegar talk first, you baboon-faced toilet!

Sly: I've read about this, Sly. It's customary for pirates to engage in insult competitions. Just make sure you never repeat anything that's already been said.

Black Spot Pete: You take the first broadside, shipmate!

Sly: You're a...

[Sly begins the round of insults. Each insult contains three phrases that can be selected in any combination to form the complete insult. After Sly's turn, Black Spot Pete makes a comment before responding with his own insult, after which Sly responds, and so on.]

Sly or Black Spot Pete

First phrase:

  • Blathering
  • Bleating
  • Brainless
  • Cricket-sized
  • Donkey-eared
  • Idiotic
  • Marooned
  • Mumbling
  • Parrot-loving
  • Pig-breathed
  • Pin-headed
  • Sheep-brained
  • Stupid

Second phrase:

  • Barnacle-backed
  • Clam-tongued
  • Cross-eyed
  • Duck-billed
  • Grog-abusing
  • Knuckle-dragging
  • Pus-faced
  • Scurvy-ridden
  • Seaweed-slurpin
  • Toothless
  • Twisted
  • Yellow-bellied

Third phrase:

  • Anchor-head
  • Bag of vomit
  • Cabin boy
  • Cow-pie
  • Piece of filth
  • Sack o'maggots
  • Swabber
  • Waste of skin
  • Whale-fart

[In response to Sly's insults]

Black Spot Pete
  • Ha! Yah swear like a child! You're a...
  • Har, har! But methinks you're a...
  • That be true enough, but you're a...

[In response to Black Spot Pete's insults]

  • You are a...
  • Oh yeah? You're a...
  • Oh really? You're a...

[If Sly reuses an insult]

Black Spot Pete
  • Come up with some new phraseology or you'll taste me cutlass!
  • 'Tis already been said! No pirate worth his salt would reuse an insult; it's a crime before nature!

[After the insult competition]

Black Spot Pete: Ha ha! Cantankerous Tim, it must be you! Forgive this old sea dog and his sunburnt eyes for not recognizing you straight away. I've never met a man on land or sea that could curse half as well. Tell me, shipmate: why, after so long away, do you drop anchor now?

Sly: I've come for me share of the treasure we stole years ago from that Reme Lousteau fella.

Black Spot Pete: Twas a good haul, that! I speak of it while drunk often. You and I, burying the loot in the belly of Dagger Isle. Aye, and many a year I kept the map to the treasure hidden, safe as a swaddling babe.

Sly: Argh! Then let's have it! High time we dug up our retirement and lived as lords!

Black Spot Pete: It shames me fierce to tell ye, shipmate, but I lost me galleon in a game of cards. And worse yet, the map was stolen by that terror, Captain LeFwee.

Sly: What... ahem... what!? I'd have run him through with my cutlass before givin' up so treasured a parchment!

Black Spot Pete: This LeFwee's no ordinary buccaneer, no. He's earned the reputation as the smartest man on the Seven Seas. The devil lives in yonder keep... 'tis thre you'll find the map and your death as well. If you go for the treasure, shipmate, you go alone. Me sea-faring days are long behind me.

Sly: Thank ya, Pete, you've been a good friend.

Black Spot Pete: Aye, and you're still a skinny, malodorous, hairy-palmed, bottom-feeder.


[This slideshow plays after completing "The Talk of Pirates."]

Bentley: Thanks to Black Spot Pete, we've got a lead on Reme Lousteau's treasure. It's buried somewhere on Dagger Island, a landmass many leagues from our current position. To make the voyage, we'll need to steal a pirate ship from the harbor. No easy feat given the cutthroat nature of these... cutthroats. First, Murray and Sly will steal a jollyboat and blast the rudders off any ships that could chase us out into the open ocean. The action is sure to provoke the harbor patrol, so be prepared for a sea battle. With them out of the way, no one can stop us from leaving harbor. Meanwhile, Penelope and I will work together to break into LeFwee's keep and steal the map to the buried treasure. Once both objectives are reached, we'll steal a ship and set sail for Dagger Island. Then, it'll be a simple matter of following the map and digging up the loot.

Dynamic DuoEdit

Bentley: OK Penelope, I'm in position with your hover-spectrometer. I'll launch the device, and you scan for metal structures that resemble a safe or chest, anything the treasure map might be stored in.

Penelope (binocucom): Roger Bentley, let's light this candle.

Bentley: Be still my heart! She made an obscure NASA reference! Why do the girls always have to go for Sly! It's just not fair!

Penelope (binocucom): What was that? I didn't read ya.

Bentley: Uh... nothing. I was just saying that we've got fair winds for lift-off. Let's do it.

Penelope (binocucom): The data's coming in. It's caching in the spectrometer's matrix.

First Mate Jones: What manner of witchcraft is that? Ah well, best to shoot first and ponder later!

Penelope (binocucom): No, we haven't downloaded yet!

Bentley: Ah! The pieces are still intact! The disc is shattered but we can still retrieve the data.

Penelope (binocucom): But it's broken, and I rig all my gear to self-destruct if anyone tries to take it after a malfunction.

Bentley: Hmm... the disc will destroy itself if someone tries to pick it up... a-ha! What if we could read the disc's contents before touching it?

Penelope (binocucom): Right! I could use my RC car to go out and collect the data. It's got the same code base as the disc and should be able to download its contents!

Bentley (binocucom): That's it! Use the car to recover all of the data and then we'll know where to strike inside the skull keep.

Bentley (binocucom): I'm projecting some waypoints to the location of the disc pieces. You might need to drive on a few rooftops to get the full download.

Bentley (binocucom): These pirates are pretty keyed up after seeing the hover disc. They seem awfully scared of technology. Your RC car is sure to attract attention.

[After collecting one disc piece.]
Bentley (binocucom): Nice driving, Penelope. I'm registering a partial download from that portion of the disc.

[If Penelope's RC car is destroyed]
Penelope (binocucom): Good thing I've got extra RC cars.

[After collecting all of the disc pieces]

Penelope: That does it. We should have all of the spectrometer data!

Bentley: Hold on, hold on... I got it! There's a massive chest near the top east-facing windows. Let's go.

[Bentley and Penelope reach the bridge to Skull Keep.]

Penelope: This LeFwee guy is really on it. He must have seen the disc and raised all the bridges to the fort. There's no way in.

Bentley: I've dealt with guys like this before. They can't really trust their own men, so they always keep an escape route handy. You just have to look around a little.

Penelope: Wow, Sly's really taught you a lot.

Bentley: Sly? We're a team. In case you haven't noticed, I'm the brains of the operation. He's just the field man.

Penelope: Just "the field man?" Sounds like you're jealous.

Bentley: Well... yeah, I wish I wasn't in this chair. I wish I could run on tightropes and jump on flagpoles and all that stuff. But I can't.

Penelope: You can do other stuff. Sly can't rewire a satellite or write ASCII code.

Bentley: Sly can't even spell ASCII.

Penelope: Yeah, he's not the most technical guy, Hey, let's get moving. We won't find the back entrance just standing around. Oh!... Sorry about that standing comment.

Bentley: Gimme a break, Penelope. It's just an expression.

[Bentley and Penelope reach the back entrance.]
Penelope: The door here is locked, but we should be able to bomb the support to that upper walkway.

[Bentley and Penelope reach the top of Skull Keep.]

Bentley: Shh! That must be LeFwee. Let's get up to where no one will spot us.

Penelope: Agreed.

LeFwee: I'll tell ye something, by thunder, that disc in the sky was just the beginning!

First Mate Jones: But sir, 'tis gone. Them bridges is up, and all's as clear as morning.

LeFwee: Sure sure, every man's entitled to thar opinion. But I don't want to hear no more of 'em. Second Mate Jones!

Second Mate Jones: Yes, sir!

LeFwee: You're now promoted to captain of the guard.

Second Mate Jones: Th-Thank you, sir!

LeFwee: Double the patrols and keep an eye out... there's a storm blowing in. I'll be just inside torturing the prisoners. Call out if you need... help.

Second Mate Jones: No, sir! I mean, aye aye, sir!

Penelope: We can't get inside with these pirates guarding the door. Time for a little swashbuckling.

[Bentley and Penelope defeat the pirates.]

Penelope: Not too shabby, Bentley. Not bad at all.

Penelope: Hmm, looks like a standard double-button lock system. On three, in pirate. One, two, three.

[Bentley and Penelope open the door.]

Bentley: This must be it. I've never seen a security chest so thick with traps.

Penelope: I dunno. Looks pretty straightforward. If I had my spanner set this would be a cinch.

Bentley: Really? Let's head back to the safe house and get your tools.

Penelope: I'd like to stay here if you don't mind and study it some more.

Bentley: Sure, I'll be back in a flash.

Bentley (binocucom): I've got your spanners and I'm on my way back.

Penelope: Great, but I think I've already got it. This is it! The Dagger Island treasure map!

[White dust explodes in Penelope's face.]

Penelope: Ah! My eyes! I can't see... some kind of blinding dust! Whoa!

Penelope (binocucom): I'm OK, but I think I fell down near the front door. I can't get back to the safe house with the bridges still raised.

Bentley: I'll save you... I'll think of something. Perfect! I'm sure she won't mind if I take the turret off her car.

Penelope (binocucom): Hurry, Bentley. I'm getting kind of scared here.

Bentley: Hang tight, I've got a new and improved Grapple-Cam on the way.

Penelope (binocucom): This dust is really nasty. I can't see a thing.

Bentley (binocucom): Don't worry, Penelope. The pulleys holding up the bridges were too tough to take out with my sleep darts, so I upgraded my Grapple-Cam with one of your RC turrets. I should be able to blast them to pieces.

[Bentley lowers the bridges to the fort.]

Penelope (binocucom): I heard the bridges fall, but I'm not sure I can make it back to the safe house blinded like this.

Bentley (binocucom): I'll make a bird call through the Grapple-Cam's speaker. The guards won't think anything of it, and you'll be able to follow the sound back to the safe house.

Penelope (binocucom): OK, just don't get too far away, or I won't hear 'em.

[Every time Bentley makes a bird call with the Grapple-Cam]

Penelope (binocucom)

  • Alright
  • Here I come.
  • I gotcha.
  • I hear ya.
  • I'm coming.
  • I'm in motion.
  • Moving to your position.
  • OK.
  • On my way.
  • Sure.
  • Yup

[After leading Penelope back to the safe house]

Bentley: Penelope!

Penelope: Bentley!? Thank you. I was really scared there for a bit. You saved my life.

Bentley: There now, let's get you inside and make sure that dust has no permanent effects.

Jollyboat of DestructionEdit

Bentley (binocucom): OK, Murray, I need you and Sly to blast the rudders off all the galleons in port. With their boats disabled, the pirates won't be able to chase after us when we sail for Dagger Island.

Murray: What about those boats out there at anchor. They look ripe for a breaking.

Bentley (binocucom): Don't worry about it. The pirates won't have time to row out and get them rigged before we're gone. Besides, once start shooting at those rudders, the harbor patrol is sure to show up.

Murray: That sounds like a job for a man of my many destructive habits.

Bentley (binocucom): You... said it. Take out the harbor patrol and there'll be no one left to chase after us when we "appropriate" a pirate boat. It looks like Sly's done unlocking the jollyboat. Good luck, sailor.

Bentley (binocucom): OK boys, Murray rows and Sly mans the cannon. Hold down the R1 button to charge the shot and shoot farther. Let go when you want to fire.

[Sly and Murray destroy one ship rudder.]
Bentley (binocucom): Nice work guys. You're really working as a team. That boat's not setting sail anytime soon.

[Sly and Murray destroy all four rudders.]

Bentley (binocucom): You guys are doing great, but it's time to bump it up a notch. The harbor patrol has arrived!

Sly: They look pretty well-armored. Is this cannon gonna cut it?

Bentley (binocucom): You're right, Sly. Murray needs to ram them with your jollyboat to knock off the armor.

Murray: Alright! I'm tired of dodging cannonballs, time to crack some skulls, jollyboat style.

Bentley (binocucom): Once Murray has knocked off the armor, you'll need to sink 'em with a well-placed cannonball.

Murray: Run in fear, harbor patrol sissies! I'm gonna ram you into next week. Yarrgh!

[When shooting a boat that still has armor]
Bentley (binocucom): Ram the armor off the boats, then your shots will hit home.

[After ramming a boat]

  • Armor's gone!
  • He's clean, ready to shoot!
  • He's down to wood!
  • Nice, the armor's gone!
  • This guy's clear!

[After sinking a boat]

  • Avast that, sucka!
  • Good shot, pal!
  • Nice shot, Sly!
  • Sly, you're on fire!
  • Yes!

[Sly and Murray sink all of the boats.]

Murray: Alright! The team of excellence, Murray and his faithful gunner Sly, kick butt yet again!

Bentley (binocucom): Uhh, sorry guys... I wasn't aware the harbor patrol had a cutter. You're not done yet. Gads! That thing is massive!

Sly: Everything has a weak point... just look at that mast. they've been patching it up for a while now.

Murray: Sly's right. That mast will fall before our combined mightatude! No matter how many cannons they bring to bear, we will bear it!

Sly: Not to sound like a wimp, but I vote we dodge their cannonballs.

Murray: Or we can dodge, that works too.

[Sly and Murray sink the cutter.]

Murray: Team Excellence does it again! Nice shooting, sidekick.

Sly: Hey, we would have been sunk without your rowing.

Bentley (binocucom): When you guys are done making out, I'll see you back at the safe house... sheesh!

X Marks the SpotEdit

[If attempting to begin the job without having purchased Silent Obliteration]
Bentley (binocucom): Sly, this job will require a deadly, quiet sneak attack. You should really buy the Silent Obliteration power-up before we attempt it.

[Upon beginning the job.]

Bentley (binocucom): OK, Sly, time for the main event.

Sly Cooper: I've been looking forward to this. Every thief dreams of one day stealing a pirate ship. I don't know what it is, but it's like a total rite of passage. This is gonna be great!

Bentley (binocucom): As you'll be the first on board, you might want to keep your enthusiasm quiet. If the night watch detects you, this whole place is going to get lit up with guards. The rest of the team won't stand a chance.

Sly Cooper: Come on, pal! This is me you're talking to. I'm like a fourth-degree black belt at this kind of stuff.

Bentley (binocucom): Murray'll meet you at the jollyboat, but remember: keep it quiet.

Sly Cooper: (silently) O...K...!

[Sly meets Murray at the jollyboat.]
Sly Cooper: Looks like they mined the harbor after our last boat trip. Must've really spooked these guys.

[Sly and Murray reach the ship.]
Bentley (binocucom): Take these guys out, and keep it quiet.

[Sly defeats the guards.]

Sly Cooper: OK, guys, the coast is clear. Come on up.

Murray (binocucom): Roger! I'll start rowing people over.

Murray: OK, the rest of the gang is below deck. Let's fire this puppy up!

Bentley: Once we raise the sails and get underway, it won't be long before someone on shore raises an alarm.

Murray: No problem. We wasted that harbor patrol. The coast is clear!

Bentley: You guys did a great job, but they still have cannons mounted up in Skull Keep. I figure it's long odds they get gun crews into position before we're out of range, but it's worth mentioning.

Sly Cooper: Then let's make full sail for the mouth of the harbor. If you guys are ready, I say we do it now. Every second we dilly-dally just puts us at more risk.

Bentley: Agreed.

Sly Cooper: Murray, take up the anchor. Bentley, get down below deck and adjust the ballast. I'll hoist the sails and get this thing moving.

Bentley (binocucom): OK Sly, you're in command. Sailing is easy. Hold down on the L2 button to turn left and the R2 button to turn right.

[If Sly fires the ship's cannons before reaching open water.]

Murray: That was a bad idea, Sly. Everyone's sure to be awake now. Make for the mouth of the harbor, we need to get out of here!

Murray: The Skull Keep is firing on us. We've got to get out of here!

[When nearing the mouth of the harbor]

Bentley (binocucom): We're almost out of range.

Bentley (binocucom): Excellent! We've made it into open water!

Bentley (binocucom): Sly, keep using the L2 button and R2 button to steer the ship. The wind around this archipelago consistently blows from the south. Maintain a good angle, or we won't be going anywhere fast. I've marked Dagger Island on the sea chart. Click the right analog stick to bring it up and get your bearings.

[Upon meeting an enemy ship.]
Bentley (binocucom): You're the captain. Turn our boat to give 'em a broadside with the cannons. If you fire at them from the front or behind, our cannonballs will do tons more damage as they travel the length of the enemy ship.

[If your ship is struck]

Bentley (binocucom): There's a hole in our ship! Find the trouble spot and swipe at it to nail down the deck boards!

Bentley (binocucom): The whole team is down here working to keep the ship from falling apart. At best, we can keep the damage from getting worse, but there's just no way to fix the hull while in battle.

[If the left side of your ship takes significant damage.]
Bentley (binocucom): The left side of our ship is about to breach! I'd advise turning it away from our enemy to keep the port hull from any more harm.

[If the right side of your ship takes significant damage.]
Bentley (binocucom): The right side of our ship is about to breach! I'd advise turning it away from our enemy to keep the starboard hull from any more harm.

[After bringing down the enemy's masts]
Bentley (binocucom): Their mast has fallen and their boarding nets are down! Pull up alongside and jump aboard the enemy vessel. There's sure to be treasure. Or, just give her another broadside and sink her to the bottom of the ocean.

[Sly boards the enemy ship.]
Bentley (binocucom): Defeat the enemy captain, and the other pirates are sure to surrender.

[After sinking the enemy ship]

Bentley (binocucom): We're close to Dagger Island. Drop anchor near the beach.

Bentley (binocucom): You've got the map, Sly. Select it as a power-up and read its clues to find the treasure. I believe the first clue is, "stand before the statue's gaze to begin your walk along the treasure's maze."

[Upon encountering pirates on the island.]
Bentley (binocucom): Drat. More pirates. They must have a ship anchored on the other side of the island. Stay clear if you can. No telling how many are on shore.

[Upon approaching a group of lizards.]
Bentley (binocucom): Heads up, Sly. This island is home to some near-sighted lizards. They can't see very far ahead, but they'll bite you in half given a chance.

[After following the first clue]

Bentley (binocucom): This is it. Follow the rest of the clues on the map to find the treasure.

Bentley (binocucom): Sly, when you've got the right number of paces, stop and hit the circle button to get the next clue.

[After following the second clue]
Bentley (binocucom): Great. If you need to leave map mode for a while don't worry about it. You just marked an X on the ground, which will make it easy to come back and pick up where you left off.

[After following the third clue]
Bentley (binocucom): While in map mode, you can use the right analog stick to scan your immediate area. It might be helpful to find this circle of palm trees mentioned in the clue.

[After following the fifth clue]
Bentley (binocucom): Looks like you'll need to leave map mode to solve this clue. Look around like normal with the right analog stick for this island with three palm trees. When you find it, bring up map mode again, and your direction marker will be pointing in the same direction.

[After following the seventh and final clue]

Dimitri (binocucom): Granpapa's treasure! Hold the beat, bro. I come to help you dig, dig?

Murray (binocucom): We're all coming, Sly. This is too cool!

Sly: Well, Dimitri, it's your loot. I think you should have the honor.

Dimitri: I open with joy. You Cooper Gang is a tight groove. Van Gogh Bullseye! The primo diving gear to accentuate my deep-down diving style!

Penelope: It's so intricate. Your grandfather was an artist. I've never seen such fine craftsmanship.

Dimitri: He had the juice, check it! The gear even matches my suit! I can dance, dive and accessorize!

Sly: What else is in this chest?

LeFwee: Aye, let's get a good look! Avast, lubbers! Didn't think ye could steal from the smartest man on the Seven Seas and not taste the repercussions! Har, har, har! I might have been late for the opening of the chest, but I'm just on time for the stealing of the gold!

Sly: Let Penelope go. We can work out a deal.

LeFwee: Penelope be the lass's name? Purdy as a sonnet, and what a rich, sweet scent from the wench's hair. (sniffs)

Murray: Let's thump this chump!

Bentley: No! He'll hurt her. This guy's a killer.

LeFwee: Aye, ye summed me up with but a word... killer. Away with ye, back to your ship. This gold is mine now, or her death is yours... take yer choice.

Sly: Guys, we don't have any options here. Everyone back to the ship.

Penelope: You can't just abandon me! Help, please! I'm so scared.

Bentley: Penelope, do what he says. Stay alive. We will save you.

Penelope: I... I trust you.

LeFwee: And I trust ya still plan on luggin' back to yer ship. Away with ye, now!

Slideshow [This slideshow plays after completing "X Marks the Spot."]

Bentley: Clearly, the only goal at this point is saving our teammate and friend, Penelope. LeFwee's ship, the Death's Head, has sailed back to Blood Bath Bay with her onboard as captive. Things look grim. There's no way we'll be able to sneak into the harbor. Even the backside of the island is inaccessible due to reefs. To put it plainly: we're in for a fight. LeFwee is an intelligent opponent, and we'll need to do everything in our power to stack the odds in our favor.

Bentley: First, we'll put Dimitri's new diving gear to use by salvaging some weapons from a nearby shipwreck. We'll need the extra firepower to deal any kind of damage to the armor-enforced Death's Head. It'll also come in handy for our second objective: destroying the Red Sail Sea Dog Clan. They're a fleet of mercenaries on LeFwee's books. We need to surprise them now while they hunt us in small groups. If they ever attacked in unison, there's no way we'd make it out alive. And finally, we'll set sail for the misty waters inhabited by a sea monster the pirates call "Crusher." Reports on Crusher are sketchy, but we might learn something by analyzing its technique. I know for a fact that all of LeFwee's men fear it. An impressive and useful trait given our current situation.

Crusher from the DepthsEdit

Bentley: These deep misty waters are said to be home to the monster. Keep a sharp eye out.

Sly: Sorry, Bentley, but I can't see a thing in this fog. If your sea monster is here, there's no way we'll find him.

Bentley: It's imperative we track it down and discover why the pirates fear it so vehemently. Panda King, do you have any fireworks that might light the place up a little... make it easier to spot the creature?

Panda King: My fireworks are not flares. They burst with ferocious beauty and then disappear like the lightning.

Sly: We should really get out of here. With visibility this bad, we might sail into a rock. The boat might take some real damage.

[The ship's masts are destroyed.]

Sly: OK, now that's some real damage.

Panda King: The sea monster is upon us! Go below deck and placate the others. I will confront this creature with my firework artistry!

Sly: Give a shout if you need any back up. I'll stand ready.

Sly (binocucom): Looks like a sneak attack through the fog. A single quick firework will probably keep those things off you, provided you see it coming.

[Crusher reveals the top of its head.]
Panda King: So, you now choose to face me. Behold the Panda King, your master!

[Crusher retreats.]

Panda King: Hide beneath the waters! Hide from your better!

Sly (binocucom): This ship's getting pulled under. If we get tipped over too far in either direction, we're as good as sunk!

[If the boat tips too much in one direction]

Sly (binocucom)

  • It's close. Any further and we're sunk!
  • It's not looking good!
  • Level us off, or we're gonna drown!
  • Things are looking pretty bad down here!
  • This angle's too extreme for the boat. We're starting to breach!
  • This angle's too steep. We're flooding!
  • Too much tip!
  • Water's comin' in!
  • We won't make it if the boat tips any more!
  • We're almost over.
  • We're close to the edge!
  • We're sunk if we tip any further!
  • We're too far over. Level us off, or we're dead!

[Crusher reveals itself again.]
Panda King: Yes, rise and let me punish you!

[Crusher retreats again.]

Panda King: Rah! Timid creature. With my beautiful fireworks I will... I, they are all gone! Cooper, your assistance is requested.

Sly: I'm here. What's the score?

Panda King: Protect the vessel while I go below and hurriedly craft more fireworks.

Sly: Sure thing.

Sly: Bentley, you check out that fight? Crusher must be on its last legs at this point, I mean, what could he have left?

[Crusher rises from the sea.]

Bentley (binocucom): I'd say about another 100 feet and a dozen tentacles... just a rough guess.

Bentley (binocucom): The squid's eye is out of range. Draw him in close and then blast away! Got an idea. Whack the tentacles while they're attached to the ship. The suction cups on the bottom will get stuck, and maybe he'll have to come in and pull 'em off.

[Sly hits Crusher with some cannonballs.]
Bentley (binocucom): You got him, keep it up!

[Sly subdues Crusher.]

Panda King: A grand battle that was! Worthy of the names King and Cooper!

Sly: You really softened him up for me.

Dimitri: That was a solid, action-reaction, bros. You two stands tall.

Bentley: Say, Guru, could you get inside this creature's mind?

Guru: (speaks Aboriginal)

Bentley: That's a brilliant idea, but are you sure you can pull it off?

Guru: (Aboriginal)

Bentley: Then let's do it. Just take any precautions you can.

Sly: What's he trying to do?

Bentley: Getting us a new ally out here in the sea.

Guru: (Aboriginal)

Murray: Master! Don't leave us!

Deep Sea DangerEdit

[When nearing the job-start point]
Bentley (binocucom): We're close to the shipwreck. Drop anchor near the beach.

[Near the shipwreck.]

Bentley: You all set with your gear?

Dimitri: Got the gear, got the macho swimsuit, got more juice than you'll ever know! Whah! I'm a hit single with a bullet!

Bentley: Cool, Daddy-o. How 'bout you take your "pimped self" down 'neath the H20 and get nasty with the scuba... yo, with bling.

Dimitri: Hey man, you can try, but you'll never capture my essential style. It's like smoke: un-grabbable and all over the place! But no matter no thing, come at me with some turtle talk. You've got your own flavor.

Bentley: Fine, your objective is beyond the reef. We're looking for some more of these cannon blast amplification collars. We'll move the boat above the wreck and lower a basket for you to drop 'em into.

Dimitri: Cool, bro. I'll cop the collars and spice up your basket big time.

Bentley: Solid. Hey, uh, you want some depth optimizers for your scuba mask? It might help you spot sharks!

[After Dimitri dives into the water]
Bentley (binocucom): Use the action buttons to move forward, left, right and back. Hit the R1 button to fire your spear gun. Given tidal currents, there should be a way through to the shipwreck. Look for a small cave or passageway for the seawater.

[After reaching the shipwreck]
Bentley (binocucom): We've re-positioned the ship and are lowering the basket for you to drop the blast collars into. And, uh, a word to the wise: if one of those sharks attack, I'd use a face button to swim sideways. Could mean the difference between life and death.

[If you approach the current at the edge of the reef]
Bentley (binocucom): Stay away from the open water. The current will carry down to your doom.

[After collecting one blast collar]
Bentley (binocucom): Excellent. These cannon blast collars will be invaluable in our fight against the Death's Head. Without this upgrade, our cannons couldn't make a dent. Find five more, and we're set.

[After collecting two blast collars]
Bentley (binocucom): That's two. Only four more to go. You're a lifesaver, Dimitri. We had a few blast collars on board, but without a full set, it's hard to cailbrate the guns for synchronized discharge.

[After collecting three blast collars]
Bentley (binocucom): You're half there. Just three more.

[After collecting four blast collars]
Bentley (binocucom): Only two to go.

[After collecting five blast collars]
Bentley (binocucom): We just need one more.

[After collecting all six blast collars]

Bentley (binocucom): Perfect. We're hauling up the goods. Now for stage two. In order to make full use of the blast collars, we'll need to fortify our gunpowder with some ground hammerhead shark bones. They're attracted to yellow dart fish. Swim down to the caves under the reef and capture a couple.

Bentley (binocucom): The yellow dart fish like deep water. Head to the caves under the reef and catch two of them.

[After diving down to the caves]
Bentley (binocucom): They're down here somewhere. Get ready for some fast swimming.

[After catching one dart fish]
Bentley (binocucom): Nice. Catch one more, and hammerhead sharks are sure to show up.

[After catching two dart fish]
Bentley (binocucom): Impressive swimming, Dimitri. As expected, the hammerhead sharks have arrived. Head to the top of the reef, and get ready for some deep-sea hunting. Remember to swim sideways when a shark is charging. It's the time-honored method to avoid getting eaten: stick and move!

[After killing one hammerhead shark]
Bentley (binocucom): Nice shooting. We need all the hammerhead sharks we can get. Take your time and play it safe, but if you can, take out all of the hammerhead sharks in the area.

[After killing four hammerhead sharks]
Bentley (binocucom): You're an undersea force, Dimitri! Looks like there's only one hammerhead shark left.

[After killing all of the hammerhead sharks]
Bentley (binocucom): Maginifcent, bro. Your method and madness have cold set us up with a fat pirate gat. You're a solid gold all-star on the Team Cooper label. We're ready to go toe-to-toe with the Death's Head. We'll see how smart that LeFwee is with a cannonball in his face!

Battle on the High SeasEdit

Bentley: We're closing in on one of the Red Sail Sea Dog Clan. Beat to quarters!

Bentley (binocucom): Excellent, we've got one away from the rest of the fleet. Make sure to board the enemy vessel once their mast has fallen. We need to find out the patrol routines for the rest of the clan. With some planning, we should be able to ambush them in small groups.

[Upon destroying the masts on the second ship.]

Bentley (binocucom): To arms! Their mast is down! Ram our ship into theirs and jump onto the enemy's vessel

[Sly boards the ship.]

Bentley (binocucom): Deal with this Red Sail captain and his mercenary crew is sure to surrender.

[Sly defeats the captain and sinks the ship.]

Bentley (binocucom): Nice swashbuckling, Sly. I've analyzed the patrol schedule and marked the best place to attack on your sea chart.

[Upon nearing the second group of ships.]

Bentley (binocucom): Get ready fellas, we're closing in on the action.

Bentley (binocucom): It's a three-on-one battle. You're up for it, Sly. Use some sailing strategy and we'll carry the day.

[Upon destroying the masts on the third ship.]

Bentley (binocucom): Board this guy for booty of you feel like it, but we've already got the coordinates for the rest of the fleet.

[After sinking the ship and nearing the third group of ships]

Bentley (binocucom): We're getting close to the big one.

Bentley (binocucom): It's four against one. Stay sharp and keep out of their line of fire, these are tough odds!

[Upon destroying the masts on the fourth ship.]

Bentley (binocucom): He's a sitting duck! Send him to Davy Jones's locker, or raid the scoundrel for loot.

[After sinking the ship.]

Bentley (binocucom): That's the last of the Red Sail Sea Dog Clan. With them out of the way we won't have to worry about a surprise attack or fight impossible odds when we raid Blood Bath Bay.


[This slideshow plays after completing "Crusher from the Depths," "Deep Sea Danger" and "Battle on the High Seas."]

Bentley: Operation: Reverse Double-Cross! Our goal, as we all know, is to save Penelope. Given her crafty nature, LeFwee has undoubtedly locked her up in one of his most secure locations. They are, one, the Skull Keep, and two, the brig of the Death's Head. Our team is too small to assault both simultaneously, so we'll have to fall back on a little sleight of hand.

Bentley: First, we sail in and exchange broadsides with the Death's Head. Armed with the element of surprise and our cannon upgrades, it should be a fair fight. But remember, Penelope might be onboard, so we cannot sink this ship. Once the masts fall, Sly should jump onto the enemy vessel and then promptly surrender. A necessary step for two reasons. First, that boat is packed with pirates: way too many to fight hand to hand. And second, it's the best way to get an audience with LeFwee. Given his smug nature, he's sure to brag where she's hidden if we can get him angry enough. Got that, Sly? Irritate the daylights out of this guy. It's our best and only chance to rescue Penelope. Once he talks, we roll out plan A or B depending on the situation. This LeFwee is a smart man. Our only hope is to outsmart him at his own game.

OP: Reverse Double-CrossEdit

Sly Cooper: Battle stations, we're heading into action!

Murray: It's gonna be tight sailing in here, Sly. Keep an eye on the rocks!

[After bringing down LeFwee's masts]

Murray: LeFwee's masts are down! Ram him and jump on board!

[Sly hops aboard LeFwee's ship.]

LeFwee: Really, Cooper, a bad choice boarding a ship packed with over a hundred pirates. Sure your cane is up to the task of crackin' all our skulls?

Sly Cooper: I don't know about all of you, but yours I'm sure it can manage!

LeFwee: Bah, restrain this man and keep yer distance from the enemy vessel. This smells of lubber trickery. Take heart, boys, been a long time since we witnessed the good plank-walkin'.

Sly (text): If there was ever a time to get him angry, this is it. With his men all around, he'll need to look tough. I should insult...

[Option 1: His crew]

Sly Cooper: Your crew doesn't look like much, LeFwee. Where'd you find them? A charitable home for cross-eyed deviants?

LeFwee: Oh! Hear that, shipmates? The condemned man labeled ya all wastes of skin. Ha, how's that sit with ya?

Pirate 1: Stick him!

Pirate 2: Tear the meat from his bones!

Pirate 3: Let's drink his blood!

LeFwee: It appears you're right, Cooper. They are deviants.

[Option 2: His ship]

Sly Cooper: This plank's got splinters in it. I thought a prissy sailor like you would take more pride in his ship.

LeFwee: Oh now, I take a great deal of pride working splinters into the feet of those about to walk my plank. Just the extra touches that make all the difference.

[Correct option: His creativity]

Sly Cooper: Making me "walk the plank"? You're the pinnacle of creativity, LeFwee.

LeFwee: Not creative?! I'm the Smartest Man on the Seven Seas, you... slanderous scabbard!

[Sly takes a step forward.]

Sly Cooper (text): He seems a little rattled. That "slanderous scabbard" crack was pretty weak. Maybe I can play off it. I could...

[Option 1: Play it cool]

Sly Cooper: Stop it, you're hurting my feelings. More name calling like that, and I'm leaving.

LeFwee: Cheap-action movie dialogue won't get you out of this one, Cooper. You're as good as dead, or my name's not LeFwee!

[Option 2: Show him up]

Sly Cooper: That's the best insult you can think of? I could do better in a coma... while speaking in a foreign language... to deaf apes!

LeFwee: Your word smitting is preposterous, presumptuous, and patently premeditated. Time to put that slack tongue to use by giving the sharks something to chew on.

[Correct option: Make fun of his pirate talk]

Sly Cooper: You got a real knack for pirate talk. Put two nonsense words together and POW - scary pirate name calling!

LeFwee: Bah! Yah might be quick with the put downs, but who's got the hidden girl, huh? Me! And you'll never find her!

[Sly takes another step forward.]

Sly Cooper (text): I'm getting close. Time to really push the Penelope angle. I could mock his...

[Option 1: Skill at hiding her]

Sly Cooper: Hidden? A fellow sharp as you couldn't hide a stick in the forest.

LeFwee: I've got some skill in hidin' my blade in lubbers' guts. Fancy a demonstration?

[Option 2: His attractiveness to women]

Sly Cooper: Yeah, I suppose you'll have to keep her locked up. After all, if she ever got out, you'd never get a date.

LeFwee: 'Tis is true, I have a strong personality, but I'd never have a problem with the ladies... especially when I've a broadside aimed at their sailboat... savvy?

[Correct option: Ability to keep her prisoner]

Sly Cooper: I'm not worried about Penelope. A girl tough as that would free herself by tomorrow morning, then come and steal your wallet!

LeFwee: Ha! That chick-a-dee will never escape my Skull Keep. She's locked up in irons and there she stays until she agrees to love me, despite all my faults. Now, be the time sharks lunched on yer parts!

Sly Cooper: You're the cap'n.

[Sly jumps down into the jollyboat with Murray.]

Sly Cooper: Step on it, Murray. They've got Penelope locked up in the Skull Keep.

Murray: Check!

LeFwee: What?! The lubbers' gettin' away! After 'em, boys! Send up the signal flags, 'tis all-out war!

Sly Cooper: Heads up, Murray, the whole town is trying to blast us!

[Nearing the dock]

Sly Cooper: Drop me off at the dock.

[Upon reaching shore.]

Sly Cooper: I'll make a run for Penelope. You keep the boat safe. We're gonna need it for the escape.

Murray: Safe as a baby, now get moving!

[Sly runs for Skull Keep.]

Bentley (binocucom): Sly, there's a back route up to Skull Keep. Jump on the floating boxes. Penelope and I made a walkway all the way to the top.

[Sly reaches the top.]

Sly Cooper: Penelope! That you? It's time for a rescue.

[Sly turns the doll around.]

Sly Cooper: LeFwee! Huh, he's good.

[The doll explodes.]

LeFwee: Ha-ha! The landlubber fell for it, hook, line and sinker! Thinks he could out-maneuver the smartest man on the Seven Seas? Ha-ha, not hardly. First Mate Jones!

First Mate Jones: Aye-aye, sir!

LeFwee: Take a batallion of yer best men and raid the Cooper ship. There're sure to be some lingerin' rats aboard.

First Mate Jones: But... sir!

LeFwee: Don't cut me off whilst I'm speaking, or I'll cut ya off from breathin'!

First Mate Jones: The Cooper ship is making for the open water, sir.

LeFwee: Hmm. Rats indeed. Make full sail with what masts we got. If they make it out of sea, we'll never catch'em!

First Mate Jones: Aye-aye, sir!

Murray (binocucom): Bentley, Sly's all blown up and LeFwee's boat is gaining on you!

Bentley: Keep it together and meet me at the mouth of the harbor. If I can get into deeper waters, I should be able to give this guy the slip.

Murray: But Sly!

Bentley: Keep it together! We're not done yet.

LeFwee: Blast! They'll make it out of sea in this wind! Jones!

First Mate Jones: Aye, sir!

LeFwee: Load the cannons and prepare to come about. If the breeze don't help, we'll fall back on iron and powder. Fire!

[LeFwee blasts the Cooper ship, then pulls his ship up beside them.]

LeFwee: Avast there! Afraid ye didn't quite make it out of the harbor. Ha-ha, prepare to surrender your vessel!

Bentley: Sorry, LeFwee, but I'm sure this water is deep enough.

LeFwee: Deep enough to be your grave!

Bentley: Guru, Crusher, now!

[Crusher rises out of the water.]

LeFwee: Ah, by thunder!

First Mate Jones: 'Tis Crusher? Crusher! We're doomed!

The Guru: (speaks Aboriginal)

Bentley: Good to see you too! I'll focus on freeing Penelope. You take care of any pirates that may come out on deck. Use the left and right analog sticks to control your tentacles, then hit the R1 button and L1 button to smash guys.

[First lock cracked.]

Bentley: One down, three to go!

[Second lock cracked.]

Bentley: Keep it up, Guru! Only two left!

[Third lock cracked.]

Bentley: Once more, just a little bit longer.

Penelope: Bentley, is that you up there?

Bentley: It's a rescue, Penelope. Hold tight!

[Final lock cracked.]

Bentley: Done!

[Penelope comes out on deck.]

Penelope: Bentley! I... you...

LeFwee: Call off your squid, or the girl gets it!

Bentley: Back off, Guru, I'll deal with this guy.

LeFwee: Aye, that you have. Set me up ta think I'd outsmarted ya, then fooled me into the deep water with this beast. I tip me hat to ye. Yer the cleverest man I've ever had the pleasure of beatin'.

Bentley: You getting this, Sly?

Sly Cooper: Yeah... I got some perspective on the situation.

LeFwee: Avast!

[Sly swoops down and falls overboard.]

Bentley: Guru, get Sly! He can't swim!

LeFwee: Aye, shipmate, but who'll be helpin' you?

Bentley: (screams)

Penelope: Nobody touches that turtle... but me!

LeFwee: Me pirate flower finally blooms! Yet ye'd favor this cripple over me? The Smartest Man on the Seven Seas?

Penelope: Oh I do like smart guys... and he beat you at your own game. You tell me who's more intelligent.

LeFwee: Be still my heart and quick me blade... 'tis time for a duel! You and I'll make the mating dance of death!

[The two climb to the top of the masts for the duel.]

Bentley (binocucom): Use the left analog stick to jump and duck.

[If you lose]

LeFwee: Farewell, my pirate blossom. 'Twas sweet and bloody.

[After knocking LeFwee down the first time]

Penelope: Get back here!

[After knocking LeFwee down the second time]

Penelope: Stand and take it!

[Penelope knocks LeFwee into the waters, causing him to get eaten by sharks.]

LeFwee: Smartest man on the Seven Seas!

The GetawayEdit

Sly Cooper (narrating): LeFwee was beat, outsmarted by our own resident genius who'd done more than just rescue a team member; he'd won himself a girlfriend. It was nice to hear 'em talk. They'd have these conversations the rest of us couldn't even follow. Far as I could tell, they were made for each other. Dimitri was in love too. The new diving gear had gone to his head. We were informed that he'd be our new frogman for the Cooper Vault job. Not that any of us had even asked him.

Sly Cooper (narrating): For the first time in memory, Carmelita didn't show up and cart everyone to jail. Aw well, I'll send her a postcard. You know, I'd hate for her to feel left out.

Episode 6Edit

The SetupEdit

Sly Cooper (narrating): All these memories, they just bring you back to the same place: getting crushed to death in the fist of some genetics experiment gone wrong. Not the way I thought I'd go out. Shame, really. Now that we've got this big gang... gang, more like a pack of misfits. Either way, we'd become a team. We had some real potential there. Could've pulled off some big jobs.

Sly Cooper (narrating): We were so close. The door to the Cooper Vault was opening, but that Dr. M... if there's any justice, he'll get his. I just wish I had seen what was in there. A stockpile of my family's accomplishments. Would I have measured up? What would I contribute? Would my father have been proud of me or ashamed?

Sly Cooper (narrating): Funny, but here I am at the end and suddenly all I can think about is what a coward I've been towards Carmelita. Never took the next step. Looking at Bentley and Penelope, it's clear what life is about. If Carmelita was here, I'd tell her straight out how I feel and quit playing around. Put our professional differences aside and see if we could make it work. But that'll never happen now. Can't take this crushing!... Just let the pain stop.

Carmelita to the RescueEdit

Carmelita: Lieutenant Gronk, get your squad together. We're about to see some action.

Gronk: Yes, ma'am. Lock and load, you apes. We're going in!

Carmelita: Hold on, Ringtail.

Carmelita: Attack!

[As they fight the mutant]

Gronk (radio)

  • Attack.
  • Flanking.
  • Here we go.
  • I got a good shot here!
  • I'm going in.
  • I'm going up for a shot.
  • Inspector Fox, I'm moving in.
  • It got Williams.
  • It's like attacking a house.
  • It's unstoppable.
  • Keep at it with the jetpacks.
  • Keep at it, boys.
  • Private Lou is down.
  • Steady on, fellas.
  • Taking a shot.
  • This is hopeless.
  • This is it.
  • We can do it, man.
  • We've got a medical situation here.

[Once guards start appearing]

Carmelita: So, you've got friends. I've got a shock pistol! We're even.

[After defeating the guards]

Dr. M: You're an unexpected annoyance! Do me a favor and hold still while I smash the life out of you!

[Carmelita subdues the beast.]

Dr. M: You harpy witch! Why are the police invading my home?

Carmelita: I'm here to see that justice is done.

Dr. M: Justice?! I'm the victim here, defending what's mine from thieves!

Carmelita: Looked to me like you were attempting to murder that man.

Dr. M: "That man," please, you know this is Sly Cooper. You're as transparent as you are narrow-minded.

Carmelita: Cooper is a criminal. I'm here to bring him and all lawbreakers to justice.

Dr. M: I'm no lawbreaker, it was all self-defense!

Carmelita: First things first, put Cooper down and we'll talk terms.

Dr. M: Sorry, madam cop, I don't trust you as far as I can throw you. Although, I can throw you a long long way.

[Dr. M turns to his mutant.]

Dr. M: Go and smash that woman. Crush her bones to paste and toss her into the sea where no one will ever find her.

[The mutant and Carmelita sail away on her boat.]

Dr. M: Now to find that cane. I can't believe this idiot just brought it to me. Poor fool, he looks just like his father... and he's just as dead.

[Bentley and the team discover an unconscious Sly.]

Bentley: Sly?! He's over here! He's still breathing?... He's alive! Hang in there, pal. You're going to be okay. We'll get you back to the ship and patch you up.

A Deadly BiteEdit

Bentley: Sly's gonna make it, although he's suffered a major concussion. If he were up and about, I'm sure he'd want us to retrieve his family cane.

Dimitri: Cold grab the thing! Jump in, do the swim and take it. Legit, eh? My main man bro.

Penelope: Won't be that simple. That's an electromagnetic buoy. Dr. M has set them up all around the island to snag approaching metal boats. We just lucked out that we came here in a wooden ship.

Bentley: She's right. Get too close, and your diving gear will magnetize to it.

The Guru: (speaks Aboriginal)

Bentley: That's an excellent idea, Guru. You're the only member of the team who doesn't carry metal equipment. If you can "convince" some of the local sharks into joining you in an attack, it might be enough to break the buoy.

The Guru: (Aboriginal)

Bentley (binocucom): Jump on the shark and possess it. You'll need to ride out to the rest of the pack. You'll need to jump from shark to shark to possess them all. After you've befriended them once, they'll follow you wherever you go.

[The Guru reaches the first pack of sharks.]
Bentley (binocucom): Lead that pack of sharks to the buoy. You'll need to jump off and get on top of the buoy to activate it. That'll drive those sharks into an attack frenzy!

[The Guru leads the first pack of sharks to the buoy.]

Bentley (binocucom): Nice work, find some more sharks and keep at it.

Bentley (binocucom): Heads up. Looks like Dr. M has installed an automated marine defense system.

[The Guru leads the second pack of sharks to the buoy.]

Bentley (binocucom): Yes! You're a force of nature... aided by nature... naturally... keep it up!

Bentley (binocucom): Stay cool, Guru. Looks like the defense system has intensified!

[The Guru leads the final pack of sharks to the buoy. The buoy deactivates and Sly's cane falls into the ocean.]

The Guru: (Aboriginal)

Bentley: It's OK, Guru. The cane's not lost. We've got a diver on the team, remember? I'll have Penelope prep Dimitri for the job.

The Guru: (Aboriginal)

Bentley: Don't talk like that. No one else could've gotten the cane off that magnet. You're a credit to the team... just leave your shark friends behind. They freak me out.

The Dark CurrentEdit

Penelope: Bentley's tending to Sly. He wanted me to prep you for the mission.

Dimitri: Oui. The turtle dude made sounds for le scuba. So, here you go baby: Dimitri au naturel. Your plan, she's worked to perfection.

Penelope: My plan to get you alone in a swimsuit?

Dimitri: Come clean, my lovely, and play your cards straight. These are dangerous waters, and I'm a big, strong, macho, macho man.

Penelope: OK, first, get over yourself. Second, I mean it, get over yourself. And third, jump into that water and find Sly's cane. It's the key to the Cooper Vault. We can't lose it.

Dimitri: Salty language from such sweet lips. (singing) I'll dive, baby, I dive for the love.

[Dimitri jumps into the water.]

Penelope (binocucom): Quick, grab the cane! I'm detecting some of Dr. M's creatures swimming towards it!

Penelope (binocucom): You'll need to dodge their pincers with some strong swimming! Hold down the L1 button to stroke hard. Just make sure you don't run out of stamina, or you won't get anywhere fast.

[Dimitri comes face to face with Dr. M and one of his mutants.]

Dr. M: The cane is mine. Don't come any closer or I'll crush you!

Penelope (binocucom): I can't understand a word that maniac is yelling underwater, but who cares. Get back that cane!

[Dimitri hits Dr. M with his spear gun.]
Penelope (binocucom): Good thinking. Take out Dr. M. He's the will behind that creature's attacks.

[During the fight]

Dr. M
  • Ha, you're weak, diver!
  • Is this necessary? Join me!
  • Join me, and I'll make you rich!
  • Swim, freak. Swim and be slippery!
  • Then, we'll feast on your eyeballs!
  • Why fight? Let's team up!
  • You're as pathetic as Sly!

[Dimitri defeats Dr. M's mutant.]

Dr. M: This isn't over, lackey! The Cooper Gang might control the water, but I still own the sky!

Penelope (binocucom): He took the cane! I'm sorry, Dimitri, you did your best. Come on back to the ship.


[Dimitri jumps back onto the ship.]

Dimitri: That rude dude threw down heavyweight. I had him solid, but he ran, baby, ran, and now I'm flat nowhere.

Penelope: You were... magnificent! Alone against the creature, trapped in an undersea cave.

Dimitri: How about a kiss for my Monsieur Magnificento? My lips are warm like bread from the oven.

Penelope: Slow down. Remember rules one and two? Both of which told you to get over yourself.

Dimitri: Both before my magnificence! Yum yum, give me some!

Penelope: I'm gonna check on Bentley. You have fun being you.

Dimitri: I'm mag-to-the-jag-to-the-efficient, baby!

[Dimitri goes below deck. Sly comes out.]

Penelope: Sly, you're up!

Bentley: He should be back in bed after the thrashing he took. Another blow to the head and your brain could snap!

Sly Cooper: Quit your worrying, I feel fine. Did Dimitri find my cane?

Penelope: No, Dr. M managed to get away with it.

Sly Cooper: Then we gotta go.

Bentley: You're going nowhere, pal. Any attempt on Dr. M or the Cooper Vault will be impossible with these radar towers linked to the missile turrets. Wait a second. Penelope, have you completed that work we talked about on your RC car?

Penelope: Yeah... oh, I see where your going. That'll work! Smash the drones, siphon their power and fry the towers' matrix.

Bentley: Perfect. Let's get your car onto a drone patrol pipe!

Sly Cooper: Not to be too obvious in exposing my ignorance, but uh... what in the world are you two talking about?

Penelope: Explaining it would include a lot of multisyllabic words... I could just show you.

Sly Cooper: Bring on the demo.

Penelope: Panda King, can you launch my RC car to that pipe?

Panda King: Ha! With the fireworks, it will fly as the bird!

[The Panda King launches the RC car.]

Panda King: Fly, bird, fly!

Bentley (binocucom): Alright, my sweet princess of electronic dominance. Time to smash things up. Use the L2 button and the R2 button to activate your vehicle's punchers. Knock the security drones off the track with your punchers and pick up their ball energy. Get enough, and I'll open up the jump gate to the radar tower.

[Whenever Penelope destroys a drone]

  • Ah, so sorry.
  • Bam!
  • Bounce, baby, bounce.
  • Cough up the electricity, chump!
  • F equals M A.
  • Force redirection.
  • Hi-ya!
  • I own this track.
  • Kinetic energy kicks butt!
  • Ladies first!
  • Look like you've got a dent.
  • Make way for the lady.
  • Mama's angry with you, son.
  • Oh.
  • Outta the way!
  • Pa-pow!
  • Pow!
  • Punch!
  • Security drones.
  • Sorry, I'm not playing nice.
  • That'll chip your paint.
  • Wa-cha!

[Penelope collects five balls of energy.]

Bentley (binocucom): Nice driving, I've opened the jump gate.

Penelope: Scratch one radar tower.

[Penelope collects another five balls of energy.]

Bentley (binocucom): Alright, I've opened the second gate.

Penelope: There goes number two.

Bentley (binocucom): You're the queen of radar tower demolition.

[Penelope collects another five balls of energy.]

Bentley (binocucom): The third jump gate is all yours.

Bentley (binocucom): Fantastic! All three radar towers are cooked. Penelope, you're wonderful!

Danger in the SkiesEdit

Bentley: With the guided missiles offline, we've got a chance at air superiority here.

Sly: I'm in. I've rested long enough.

Bentley: You sure?

Sly: This is my legacy we're fighting for, you think I want to sit this one out?

Bentley: Understood. The biplane launcher, although untested, should get you aloft. It's gonna be tough up there.

Sly: Be tougher down here watching others fight my battles for me.

[Sly takes off in his biplane.]

Bentley (binocucom): To disable the turrets, you'll need to destroy their sensor banks. Unfortunately, it's only exposed for a short period after a missile is launched.

Bentley (binocucom): You can perform barrel rolls with the circle button. Perfect for dodging those missiles.

[If Sly runs out of ammo for the biplane]
Bentley (binocucom): You're out of ammo. Look around the fortress. Dr. M is sure to keep plenty on hand.

[After disabling one turret.]
Bentley (binocucom): Nice shooting. Good thing Penelope took out those radar towers, or the sky would be thick with guided missiles all heading for you.

[After disabling six of the turrets]
Bentley (binocucom): Just one turret left.

[After disabling all of the turrets]

Bentley (binocucom): Great work, Sly! Looks like you've really stirred up the hornet's nest: they're launching fighters!

Bentley (binocucom): Those bats have some sort of shield on them. Your cannon won't work. Fortunately, I've upgraded your plane with a missile launcher. Hold down the L1 button to target an enemy, then release once the cursor starts to blink.

[Upon disabling the first fighter's shield.]
Bentley (binocucom): The shields are down! Nail that guy before they come back up!

[After destroying all of the fighters]

Bentley (binocucom): Oh boy. Here comes the big guns, and by "guns" I mean a giant flying whale dragonfly thing covered in robotic junk! Wait! Dr. M is plugged into that monstrosity!

Dr. M: Ah! The Cooper is skyward! So good! So nice! Time he felt what it's like to play second fiddle! I am the master here! Sidekick no more!

Bentley (binocucom): That thing is launching seekers! You'll have to use your missiles to take them out. Save your cannon rounds for Dr. M, it'll work just fine on him.

Dr. M (loudspeaker): (laughs) This is a joy! A treat to watch you buzz around like a fly. Dance, fly, dance! I'm your puppetmaster! You move as I command!

Dr. M (loudspeaker): Delightful, puppet! But, I grow bored. How about a new dance puppet? I command it.

[After depleting the Whale-Fly's health]

Dr. M (loudspeaker): Ha-ha! You and your foolish friends keep trying to beat me with your guns! They're like toys to my creatures. If this Whale-Fly had vocal cords he'd laugh in your silly little faces! Ha-ha-ha!

Sly: This isn't working, Bentley. He's literally laughing at us.

Bentley (binocucom): Just give me time. I... I'll think of something!

Sly: I'm settling this now. Face to face.

Bentley (binocucom): Paragliding over to that creature!? You're out of your mind!

[Sly confronts Dr. M.]

Dr. M: Headstrong, just like your father.

Sly: You don't know anything about me or my father.

Dr. M: Really? Who let you in on the secret of this place, eh? Was it my old pal McSweeney, perhaps?

Sly: McSweeney works for you? This was all a setup to get the cane!

Dr. M: No, m'boy. Once upon a time, he and I worked together... for your dear old dad.

Sly: My father wouldn't have run with a guy who'd try to steal from the Cooper Vault... let alone attempt to kill his son.

Dr. M: Time does strange things to people. Just look at the real leader of your gang: Bentley!

Sly: Whatever! We're friends, equals!

Dr. M: Then why is it called the "Cooper Gang," you self-centered egomaniac!

Sly: That's enough!

[Sly charges at Dr. M and retrieves the cane. Dr. M retreats.]

Dr. M: (laughs)

Sly: Time to meet the past.

[Sly paraglides down to the door of the Cooper Vault and opens it.]

Sly: Bentley, you there?

Bentley (binocucom): Yeah, pal.

Sly: I'm about to head inside the vault, and I want you and Murray to come with me. We're a team, a family. We should do this together.

Bentley (binocucom): OK, be right up, partner.

Murray (binocucom): Nice! We'll have the Panda King give the van a boost! Stand clear, Sly, we're about to get awesome!

Panda King: The fuse is lit!

Murray (binocucom): Buckle up, Bentley. We're about to fly!

[The van is launched.]

Murray (binocucom): Yahoo!

Bentley (binocucom): We're never doing that again.

The Ancestors' GauntletEdit

Bentley: This place is amazing!

Murray: Yeah, it's got to be like at least a hundred years old!

Bentley: An archeological marvel!

Sly: Glad you boys are impressed 'cause it looks like I'll have to go on from here alone.

Bentley: Do it, Sly. This place was built for you. We'll hold down the fort here.

Sly: Hmm... could be dark in here.

[Inside the vault]
Sly: My ancestors sure knew how to decorate... nothin' but big piles of gold!

[Sly explored each section of the Cooper Vault, making comments about his ancestors along the way.]

  • This place was started by Slytunkhamen II. He built his fortune in the employ of the great pharoahs. That must have been around 1300 BC.
  • Sir Galleth of the Knights of the Cooper Order. Honorable knight and cunning thief.
  • Salim al-Kupar of Arabia. It was said that he had the stealth of 40 thieves.
  • The strongest of the Cooper Clan, Slaigh MacCooper, could break any lock with a single blow.
  • The ninja spire landing was perfected in Feudal Japan by Rioichi Cooper.
  • Henriette "One Eye" Cooper sailed the seas and stole from pirates. Guess I really take after her.
  • "Tennessee Kid" Cooper learned to slide along railroad tracks in the old west.
  • Victorian-era London was the stomping grounds for the most gentlemanly thief, Thaddeus Winslow Cooper.
  • Besides being a thief, Otto van Cooper was a great fighter ace and mechanic.

[Sly reaches his father's section of the vault.]
Sly: This must be my father's work.

[Sly activates a device that beams lasers across the gap to the other side.]
Sly: How am I supposed to get through this thing? He made this challenge for a move I've never learned... there's nothing like this in the Thievius Raccoonus. Come on, dad, help me out here.

[Sly rail slides on the lasers.]
Sly: Nice work, dad.

[At the end of the laser path, Sly reaches a door.]
Sly: This must be the inner sanctum! Wish Bentley and Murray were here for this...

Stand Your GroundEdit

Bentley: Do it, Sly. This place was built for you. We'll hold down the fort here.

[Sly enters the vault.]

Murray: This is going to be the payday of all time! Think of all the loot piled up back there.

Bentley: Do you ever feel like you're playing second fiddle to Sly? Like he treats us as sidekicks?

Murray: No way, Sly's cool. We're all in this together.

Bentley: Sure, we're all here, but are we equal? Who went into the vault? Sly, by himself.

Murray: Watch out!

Bentley: Dr. M's goons! They must have forced the door after we opened the lock.

Murray: Think of it this way, Bentley. If it were you in that vault and Sly and I were out here, what would he do?

Bentley: Stop these thugs and protect his friend.

Murray: Right, and that's what I'm going to do. Keep your head down, stay clear. I'm gonna smash a lot of skulls, and I don't want yours to be one of them. Come and get it, maggots! I've got a knuckle sandwich for all of ya, and it's chow time. Chow frickin' down!

[While fighting the guards.]

Bentley: Looks like fewer are coming in! They must be running out of thugs.

Bentley: These look like the last three they've got. No more are coming in.

Bentley: He's the last!

[Murray defeats all of the guards.]

Murray: Yeah! You're all knocked down, and the Murray stands tall! Like a freakin' totem pole of strongism!

Dr. M: Ah, Murray, you're much stronger than McSweeney ever was.

Murray: That's right, plug-head! I'm like a semi truck with its brakes cut!

Dr. M: I don't have time to get into a screaming match with a caveman like yourself.

Bentley: Then lock horns with me. Think you'll find I'm a better match.

Dr. M: I have no fight with you Bentley. You and I are the same.

Bentley: I gather you were the technical specialist working with Sly's father?

Murray: You knew Sly's dad!?

Dr. M: Quiet, caveman, the adults are talking. That's right, Bentley. I know the pain you suffer working under your inferior.

Bentley: It's no secret, I'm smarter than the other guys. But there's more to it than that.

Dr. M: (chuckles) Like what?

Bentley: Like brotherhood.

Dr. M: Brotherhood? (chuckles) That's just what he wants you to think. It's a tool to keep you in line.

Bentley: No, that's the thing that keeps us happy and alive. It's why I'm going to stop you.

Murray: And me too.

Dr. M: Fine, "Cooper Gang." I tried.

Murray: Caveman attack!

[Murray charges at Dr. M and locks him in a grapple.]

Murray: This guy's stronger than he looks. Need some help!

Penelope (binocucom): Bentley, those statues look like ancient security devices. Maybe if you took the treasure off the top of them and put it on Dr. M's back, they might activate.

[Bentley places a piece of treasure on Dr. M's back and goes to retrieve another. Upon picking up the second piece, several guards enter the vault.]
Bentley: I'm pinned down! Need to fall back on my grapple-cam to deal with these goons.

[Bentley defeats the guards.]
Penelope (binocucom): Nice work, handsome. Now, get another piece of treasure on Dr. M's back. Murray's not looking so good.

[Bentley uses all four pieces of treasure against Dr. M.]

Dr. M: (groans) Well played, Bentley, but it was a meaningless gesture. According to the tracking device I planted on Sly's cane, he's just entered the inner sanctum. I can use the collected positional data to get through the gauntlet with ease!

Bentley: That hall's for Coopers only!

Dr. M: Maybe it's time for men such as you and I to change all that!

Murray: He's getting away! What do we do?

Bentley: I... I'll think of something, just give me time.

Murray: You know something, Bentley?

Bentley: What?

Murray: You think awesome!

Bentley: Thanks, pal.

Final LegacyEdit

[Sly enters the inner sanctum.]

Sly: This is just overwhelming! Amazing! How'd Thaddeus make a flying machine in the 1800s? Bet this thing still works.

Dr. M: Oh, I'm sure it's operational.

Sly: Dr. M, glad you could see all this. I know you've been looking forward to it.

Dr. M: Looking forward to all of this... and your death!

Sly Cooper: Come on, aren't we supposed to banter a little?

Dr. M: I only talk with my equals, and Bentley said no.

[Sly fights Dr. M.]

Dr. M: You've got some moxy, Sly. I'll give you that.

Sly: I don't know what went down between you and my father, but I'm telling you it's not the same with me and Bentley.

Dr. M: You might be right. He risked his life to defend you.

Sly: I'd do the same for him.

Dr. M: Funny... your father was never such a good friend.

Sly: We're all individuals. I might be a part of all this, a member of the Cooper line, but in the end, I'm just me. Not Henriette, Thaddeus, Slytunkhamen, Rioichi or my father. Just Sly.

Dr. M: Please! Keep your touchy-feely rhetoric to yourself, I can't stomach it! You Coopers are a bunch of dirty, attention-grubbing thieves! All of you, thieves!

[Carmelita enters the inner sanctum.]

Carmelita: Hold it right there. Both of you thieves are going to jail!

Sly: Nice to see you, gorgeous.

Carmelita: You too.

Dr. M: Ah, a love interest. I might be beaten, but I'll make you suffer!

Sly: Not her!

[Sly is hit by Dr. M's shot.]

Carmelita: No one hurts my criminal!

[Carmelita subdues Dr. M and rushes over to Sly.]

Sly: (grunts) What happened?

Carmelita: Sly?

Sly: Where are we? What is this place?

Carmelita: Sly? Can you remember anything?

Sly: No. Who're you? You look familiar.

Carmelita: I'm Inspector Carmelita Montoya Fox.

Sly: And, who am I?

Carmelita: You... you're my partner, Constable Cooper.

Sly: Well, partner, we'd better get out of here. The ceiling's gonna go. We haven't much time.

Carmelita: Let's go.

[Bentley enters the inner sanctum.]

Bentley: Sly! You in here? Sly!

The GetawayEdit

Bentley (narrating): We watched as Dr. M just stood there, unwilling to leave as the walls caved in on the vault. He'd spent his life lusting over the Cooper fortune, and he wasn't going to give it up, no matter what the cost.

Bentley (narrating): Our exit was a little rough, but Murray managed to get us out just in time to witness the final fate of the Cooper legacy. It was a bittersweet moment; the end of the road always is. We both looked on, lost in our thoughts, thinking back on all of the adventures that had brought us here. The people we'd met and places we'd seen. We'd worked for a long time to get Sly into that vault, and now its secrets were hidden again, this time for good. I can only hope that he'd found what he was looking for in there.

Bentley (narrating): We searched every inch of the island for Sly, retrieving the gang one by one, only to make the surprising discovery that he didn't want to be found. As always, he'd left a calling card. Only this time, it was worth millions. The months rolled by and when Sly still hadn't shown up, Murray headed back east to complete his training with the Guru. Without Sly as our leader, for the first time we each had to step out on our own. A difficult thing; we'd been together ever since we'd met at the orphanage.

Bentley (narrating): To this day, Murray and I are still close. Recently, he's been trying to break into the pro racing circuit, stock van class. Things are looking good. He's got a unique talent for living through crashes other people would have found fatal. Just always bounces clear. And of course, there's Penelope, my new partner in crime. Let me tell ya: I'm in love! She and I have set out on a journey that I never would have dreamed up while running with Sly and Murray, although I hope our paths will cross again soon.

Bentley (narrating): So, while this might be the end of our adventures together, it could be the start of something even bigger. Time will tell, literally, 'cause I'm building a time machine to find out!